Aww, hey, what’s up? Listen, I just wanted to welcome you, and you know, try and make you feel a little less the ‘outsider’ here. I get how you must feel, 44; you’re not Ms. Hot Shot Big Deal 45, and 43 is already walked away with a ‘see ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya’ wave of the hand. You’re kind of like the middle child of my 40’s, huh?
Well, here’s the thing: yes, you sort of do have a lot to live up to. 43 really pulled out her ‘A’ game. I mean, she was hoppin’. Of course, she was no match for 42- she got the award hands down. That girl saw some cool shit go down! As far as 41… well, she was great, too, but I bet she’d tell you she’s like your twin sister separated at birth. But don’t listen to her, she had a great year. Oh, and 40? Please! Let’s not even. We all know 40 came in like a rock star, so don’t try to live u to her.
Ah, what’s that you say, 44? Not helping? Oops, sorry. Okay, okay, I’ll give some advice to get you- I mean us- on our way, mmkay? Here we go:
1) Just be cool. Seriously, that’s it- be cool. No need to get all dramatic and ‘ Oh my God, everyone look at me, I’m 44!’ We’re good, I swear.
2) Don’t try to be 24. I mean it girlfriend. We are not 24, so don’t get any wacky ideas.
3) Don’t to be 54. Dude, let’s be 44 and no more, not less. C’mon now, it’s a nice looking number. No need to reinvent the wheel here, right?
4) Be better than 43. Now, now, don’t panic. I realize, I’m putting a little pressure on you there, but literally every single number before you had pressure, and see: they turned out just fine in the end! Mostly.
5) Have fun with it. Honey, we did not get to here, to not have some fun! Sure, your siblings all worked hard (and so will you, trust me) but they got us to the best part! Life is gooood, man. Really, really good. So: don’t fuck that shit up. I’m serious, buddy: don’t.
See how easy it’s going to be, 44? Basically, you’ve just got to keep doing what 43 was doing (but better), maybe add some new stuff (good stuff, that is) and then in twelve months, you get to pass the torch onto your sister, 45. Then, it’s her problem and you get to wave #ByeFelicia too. Kidding (not kidding). Listen: I know we’re going to hit some bumps, you and I, but some things are out of our control so we can’t fret too much about that. But based on 40-43, we’re gonna have a good time, you and I. I already like you. This is going to be a great year together, because WE are going to make it so, starting today, on your very first day. You’ve already got your first milestone: my first blog post as a 44 year old. Yay you!
Now let’s get this year started, 44!
P.S. Hey look, 44, we totally rate: Google wished us Happy Birthday. Feelin’ special 😉