Dear Cop Hater
My ‘Open Letter’
Dear Cop hater/basher/anti-law enforcement wing nuts,
Hey there. So, you don’t like cops, hmmm? Okay, well, I thought I’d take a moment to give you all the shout out you so desperately and constantly seek, then I’m going to right back to my amazingly blessed law enforcement loving life and forget all about your sorry asses again. Here’s what I have to say, just this one last time (spoiler- you won’t like it):
I (we all) have dealt with pathetic clowns like you for years. You’re interchangeable; switch out the clothes, hair color, age- and you’re all the same sorry dude/chick who’s either literally living in your parent’s basement, or simply the kind of guy we’d expect to see doing so. Maybe you tried to be a cop once and got rejected. Maybe you got arrested and the big bad police officer put you in your place. I don’t know what your story is, and I don’t actually care. Like I said, you’re all interchangeable. Nondescript. You are the equivalent of beige wallpaper.
You all have one trait that stands out, though: you’re Keyboard Warriors. Couch Critics. Monday Morning Quarterbacks. You’re tough as nails behind your computer screen, but a church mouse in person. You are a dime a dozen, folks. Truth be told, you used to have an effect on me. I can admit it. I would get so pissed off and Facebook and Twitter fight you, respond to your bullshit remarks on message boards, but then…
I had an epiphany: You don’t matter. No seriously: you don’t matter. There is nothing- not one single thing, no utterance or action spoken or enacted by you, that has changed the course of anyone’s path. Our loved ones (those cops you so despise) who wear the blue and the badge still go out every single day to serve and protect the good people of the world as well as the shitty ones (ahem, like you). They will still save and change and better lives every place they go. They will still have accomplished more in one week of their lives that you have in ALL of yours on earth. They will still and always be the world’s heroes, while you… do nothing. You’re not even worthy of this post, but sometimes we all need to be reminded to take a step back for engaging the fools of the world and remember what really matters, so this is for when I forget.
I mean, really- what effect have you had on anything? You’ve wasted a bunch of oxygen, time and effort to influence…no one. Yikes, that has got to be yet another bummer in an already bummer filled life! So listen, my freaky little rock dwellers, don’t be mad. Or, be mad- whatever. Either way, I feel sorry for you. Sorry that you have no idea what it means to be a part of something greater than yourself. Sorry you don’t have the privilege of knowing and loving someone who does. I’m sorry you’ll never contribute to society in a meaningful and fulfilling way. Sorry you can’t fathom the love and sense of community that comes with being a member of the law enforcement family.
Okay, you got me- that was a really back-handed apology. Of course I’m not sorry, silly. I’m also not bound by the constraints of stoic silence that our L.E.O.s are bound to, so I get to tell you where to go. You do know where I’m telling you to go, righttt?
Oh, um… have a nice day 🙂
About Modern Melly, aka Melanie Cherniack: Melanie a a published author to nine children’s books, as well as two novels, all available through her website modernmelly.com/shop. Melanie is also the founder and designer of the #goodhumanbrand, selling empowering, uplifting and inspiring merchandise which benefits numerous charities. Visit igoodhuman.com for more. She is available for book signing events as well as speaking engagements. To book an event email Melanie at email@example.com. Find Melly on Facebook HERE and on Twitter HERE.