Keep It Classy, Ladies

Keep It Classy, Ladies

Keep It Classy, Ladies by Modern Melly People rarely say or do things to amaze me anymore. I hate to sound jaded, but it’s true. They do, however, totally baffle me. Sometimes I wonder if it’s me. Am I  the one who’s wacky?! Okay, technically- yes. Yes, I am wacky in my own way (or so my … Read More

Thanks Mister

Thanks Mister

This morning when I woke up, I did the same first thing that I always do: I check my phone. More specifically, I check (in this order) my texts, my Twitter notifications, email glance, then ahh: my Facebook feed. As you may (or may not) know, that is my world news source; friends, family, politics, … Read More

12 Happy Pages For Social Media Addicts

12 Happy Pages For Social Media Addicts

  12 Happy Pages For Social Media Addicts By Modern Melly Hello fellow social media addicts! Disclaimer: This is not a support group, nor will I try to persuade you to step away from the computer/laptop/tablet/smartphone and go enjoy nature and a real conversation with spoken words and no emoticons. Nope, that’s someone else’s job. … Read More

Dear Everyone Writing A ‘Dear____’ Blog

Dear Everyone Writing A ‘Dear____’ Blog

Dear everyone and their mother that writes a blog, including me: STOP FUCKING WRITING ‘DEAR (insert person type here)’. Enough already, we get it. Seriously. Dear children’s costume company, stop making costumes gender specific.Dear lady at the gym that looked at me funny while I was on the treadmill eating a Snickers bar. Dear man … Read More

Thank You, From A Police Wife

Thank You, From A Police Wife

Anyone that reads my stories knows I love social media, Facebook particularly, and that I start my day by reading my Facebook wall like it’s the morning paper. In my defense: it is like the morning paper; there’s your world news, local news, entertainment, but then there’s so much more: updates on how friends and family are starting … Read More

Imagined Conversations With Our Cat & Dog

Imagined Conversations With Our Cat & Dog

We have a ugly/cute Shih-Tzu named Silas and an ugly/cute Blue Point Himalayan named Biggie (actually, it’s Notorious B.I.G.) I say ugly/cute because, as their human parent, I think they’re lovely. The reactions from others tells me different. In their defense, I’m positive they look at us, their people, and think much the same. Here … Read More

I Love You Man (Drunk)

I Love You Man (Drunk)

My husband and I went out last night for a show- Dwight Yoakam, if you care (and even if you don’t). Weeknight shows are a little rough- after working all day, and knowing you have to be up in the morning- but we still got our drink on and had a blast. I knew we … Read More

I’m Not Talking To You, I’m Talking To Me

I’m Not Talking To You, I’m Talking To Me

We all do it. Don’t deny it… we all talk to ourselves. Sometimes, we’re the only one who listens, am I right?! (hardy-har-har, I know). It’s totally normal, healthy even, to have internal dialogues as we navigate through our day. Of course, the key word there was: internal. If you’re blabbing away out loud to … Read More

If I Could Just Get Out Of My Own Way

If I Could Just Get Out Of My Own Way

Seriously. If I could just get out of my own way, I’d do just peachy. I’m meaning this in a most literal sense, but I briefly acknowledge that I also mean it figuratively as well. But that’s another story. (For real, I’ll probably write another story about that.) Fortunately, my literal trips, stumbles, slips and … Read More

Drinking and Blogging

Drinking and Blogging

Rule Number One: Don’t Drink and Blog. I mean, that probably is a good rule, considering that your ability to filter your thoughts is as impaired as… well, as you are. Or, in this case, I am. Was. Even though I’m undrunk now, I’m still going to share with you the deep thoughts of an … Read More

Mean Kinda Funny

Mean Kinda Funny

Some people seem to be born with that gene that makes them just simply know how to act right, behave, be cool. They tell appropriate jokes, they laugh normal… my humor? Well, let’s say that it takes a certain kind of folk to appreciate. It all comes from the German side of the family, my mother’s side. Germans love mean humor- you know, … Read More

The Art of Being Vague

Ah, the art of being vague. It’s, you know, kind of simple but not. (See what I did there? I was being vague.) Now, you forthright, direct people may wonder; Is this a thing? And if so, why is it a thing? Well, I’ll tell you, as directly as I’m capable. Being vague has multiple … Read More

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?!

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?!

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?! By ModernMelly   Heyyy. Sigh. So. I took an unplanned, unwanted month (plus) long hiatus from, well… everything, thanks to the flu, and subsequently pneumonia. It pretty much kicked the shit out of me, to put it bluntly. Thirteen day of fever, a few doctor visits, an ER trip, and … Read More

You Named Him WHAT?!

You Named Him WHAT?!

Well, that little nugget, is me. You may have seen this picture before, in another blog, but I’m compelled to use it again because it really is me. As in, the essence of who I am. Goofy. Awkward. Tom-boyish (check that outfit!). Girly (oh, those red sandals!). A ham. The only thing I can’t claim … Read More

I’m Just Here For The Comments

I have an amazing group of friends. I simply love each one of them, and what they bring to the group. Now, having said that, I’ve got to tell you: they’re nuts. Granted, not certifiably so, and probably not any more nuts than your group of friends, but nuts nonetheless. So, I’ll give you a little background, … Read More

My 42 Year Dramedy

Let’s get right to it. I have an awkward confession to make. I don’t even know why on earth I’d want you to know how utterly…

Another Blogger, Sorry.

Ahh, yes! Yay, another blogger! Cue yawns, eye rolls and scroll… Next, please. I know, I know- how many bloggers do we really need?! I can’t even promise you that I’ll have something more interesting to say than the last guy(or the next guy). This is entirely self gratuitous, and self promotion as well. http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/03/Falling-Asleep-GIF.gif … Read More

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