Motherhood: magical, messy,... or both?
By now, many of us have seen or heard about the comments made by singer Chapelle Roan. (To be honest, I only know who she is thanks to TikTok). Anyhow, she went on a popular podcast and said she doesn’t know a single woman who is happy being a mother. This set off a firestorm on social media of mothers who were more than willing to set her straight on the matter. And it led me to thinking…
You ever notice how motherhood is either portrayed like a Pinterest-perfect dream or an absolute disaster you should avoid at all costs? Somewhere between the Instagram mamas with their spotless white couches and the modern feminist takes telling women kids will “ruin your life,” the truth got shoved in the back of the minivan.
And now, thinking about all of this, I can give this young, naive singer some grace in her misguided thinking. Look at what culture is telling her. So, let’s offer some balanced truths about motherhood. Because, you know what? It’s complicated.
I was that new mom once (a long time ago)—exhausted, unsure, and quietly wondering if I was doing it all wrong because it didn’t feel like the diaper commercial promised. But here’s the thing: the problem wasn’t motherhood. The problem was the lies I’d been sold about what it should be.
From culture to media, even well-meaning friends, we’re constantly being fed distorted narratives that shape how we see ourselves as moms. And if we’re not careful, those lies take root and bear some bitter fruit: shame, resentment, burnout.
Let’s expose five of the biggest whoppers modern women are told about motherhood—and replace them with something real, something hopeful, and something biblical.
1. “Motherhood Will Complete You.”
This one sounds poetic, but it’s dangerously misleading. Motherhood is beautiful—sacred even—but it is not your identity. You were whole in Christ before ever holding that baby, and you’ll still be whole if you never do.
When culture says motherhood is your life’s pinnacle, it sets you up for a devastating crash on the hard days (and girl, they come in bulk). Being a mom doesn’t erase your other callings; it expands them. Your worth isn’t found in how well you meal prep, co-sleep, or manage meltdowns at Target. It’s found in Him.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” – Proverbs 31:25
2. “You Can Have It All… If You Hustle Hard Enough.”
Translation: Be a perfect mom, boss babe, wife, homemaker, and fitness guru—while smiling for your highlight reel. Y’all, no. Just… no.
The “supermom” myth has us running on empty, chasing balance like it’s some trophy for being chronically overextended. God didn’t call us to strive for perfection. He called us to faithfulness. Sometimes that means saying “no” to the world so we can say “yes” to our family—without guilt.
Reminder: Rest is not laziness. It’s obedience. Even God rested on the 7th day. Take the nap.
3. “Kids Are a Burden, Not a Blessing.”
This one makes me want to flip a table. We’ve got entire movements acting like children are inconvenient accessories to adult happiness. But Psalm 127:3 says,
“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.”
Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s sanctifying. But that doesn’t make kids a burden—it makes them a refiner’s fire. They reveal our selfishness, demand our presence, and teach us to love in ways we didn’t know we could. That’s not a burden. That’s sacred.
4. “Good Moms Don’t Need Help.”
Ah, pride disguised as strength. And, yes, I was that mom. Couldn’t ask for help, ever. We’re told to push through, “figure it out,” and never admit we’re drowning. But motherhood wasn’t meant to be a solo act—it’s a community calling.
God designed us for fellowship. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s wise to delegate, cry on someone’s shoulder, or call grandma at 2am. You’re not failing—you’re human.
Proverbs 11:14 reminds us, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
5. “Motherhood Is Supposed to Make You Happy.”
Here’s the hard truth: motherhood doesn’t always feel good. It’s not always rainbows and onesies. And that’s okay. The goal isn’t your comfort—it’s your growth.
God uses motherhood to chisel our character. It’s not about happiness; it’s about holiness. In the late nights, temper tantrums, and cereal spills, there’s an invitation to become more like Christ: patient, loving, self-sacrificing.
Joy runs deeper than happiness—and in Christ, even the messy moments can be joy-filled.
So, What Can We Do?
Let’s ditch the lies and live free in truth:
- Stay grounded in the Word – Let Scripture define motherhood, not culture.
- Build your village – Find faith-filled friends who speak life, not competition.
- Release perfectionism – Progress over perfection, grace over guilt.
- Invite God into the chaos – He’s not waiting for your quiet time to show up. He’s right there in the Cheerios and chaos.
- Speak truth to other moms – Be the voice that says, “You’re doing better than you think. Let’s walk this out together.”
Final Thoughts
Mama, you don’t need to live up to the world’s standards. You were never meant to. You’re not raising just children—you’re raising eternal souls. That’s not something to hustle through. That’s something to honor. So toss the lies in the diaper genie and walk confidently in your calling.
You’ve got this—and more importantly, He’s got you. 💛
