Yes. That’s right: Boxes, Prayers & Swears. Where’s she going with this, right? Well, it’s kinda my thing, among other things, of course, for getting through life’s ‘stuff’. I love all three, plus one that’s not up there: Drinks. I left it out so as not to offend the teetotalers. I’m nice like that, because another of ‘my things’ is: Live, Let Live, Let it Go (Agh, yea, I starting singing that damn song , too, sorry).
Anyhow (c’mon, stick with me, fight the urge to look up at Elsa) let’s talk about Boxes.
Boxes
WTF, right? Boxes? Yes, but not literal ones. My unsolicited advice: Learn to compartmentalize. It may save your sanity, and if things are really bad, it might save your life. Why? Because if you designate places in your mind & heart for ‘things’ (thoughts/memories/feelings) to live in, and then give yourself permission to take them out & put them back in their box (compartment) at will, you have power. The feeling of powerlessness over our lives is our worst enemy, it breaks us. So if you can imagine everything good, bad, and in between being stored inside the worlds largest virtual filing cabinet (your mind), where you can control what you take out, how long it’s allowed to stay out, and when it no longer serves you. Is it easy? No, but anything worthwhile is worth the effort.
A bad moment should not pollute an entire day. A collection of bad moments should not pollute an entire day. If you can’t fix it, put it in the box till you can. Note, this is not to say you should avoid your problems. There’s a huge difference between compartmentalizing and running. You’re smart enough to sense the difference.
Prayers
Listen, I’m the first to say that it’s taken me a very long time to wrap my brain and my heart around religion/spirituality/faith and the like. I’d had tons of internal conflict, and I can’t really help you with yours (assuming you have it) but I’ve come to find my own sense of faith and belief system. So, I won’t bore you with it (not today, at least) since everyone’s journey needs to be their own, other than to say: a) I consider myself a spiritual person who responds well to the principles of the Buddhist philosophy (yes, Buddhism is a philosophy, not a religion) and, b) no matter what your beliefs are, & who or what you pray to, close your eyes at the end of each day with gratitude. Even if it’s your worst day yet, be thankful you’ve gotten to the end of it. You survived. Happy people are grateful people. Again: Happy people are grateful people. You will NEVER be one unless you are the other.
Pray on everything that truly matters in life: strength, courage, health, emotional wealth, safety for those dear to you, and then pray for all of those things for everyone else. Pray for a stranger. Pray for all creatures small and helpless. Pray for others more than you do for your self. Pray to be better, kinder, wiser. Does the word ‘pray’ make you uncomfortable? The try ‘hope’ or ‘wish’. How ever you say it, do it.
Regardless, know that nothing is owed to you. Life is not a point system, there’s no tally sheet of good strikes and bad. Winning and losing are as fluid and interchangeable as the wind. Be gracious when the favor is on you, and humble when against. Believe that there is a balance, no matter hard hard that may seem when the worst imaginable things can and do happen. Simply put: when life brings you to your knees, you may as well pray while you’re there.
Swears
Fuck yea. Gasp! Did she just say ‘fuck yea’ after writing about praying and faith and such?!! Yup, yup I did. Again, and right along with drinking, it ain’t for everyone. Sorry, but I love to swear- I fucking love it. Nothing drives a point across like a good ‘F-bomb’. Now, it should go without saying, swearing has to be a little discretionary. Let us not shout ‘God damn, what the fuck?’ at the opera, fine dining establishment or the local Chuck E. Cheese for that matter. We’re grown ups, so let’s use them in proper company. Being mindful of your surroundings doesn’t make you chicken shit, it makes you classy. But by all means, when the time is right, let ’em blast when you need to.
So, those three guys right there: Boxes, Prayers, and Swears – go on and use them in conjunction or on their own, whatever- just use them consistently and generously throughout every day. Or not. Your choice, of course. But you know, you might want to listen to someone who is genuinely happy, despite not having everything perfect, despite having had a really shitty day yesterday and throwing myself a 15 minute pity party because if it, despite forgetting my own advice for a bit, and despite the fact that I have the same number of worries, fears, and problems as anyone else. So why am I so happy? Because I use Boxes, Prayers, and Swears… oh, and I always try to Find the Beauty in the Imperfections, of course 😉
