Empowerment. I’ll Tell You What It’s Not

by ModernMelly

Let’s begin with what it is:

em·pow·er·ment – əmˈpouərmənt/ : the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights. “political steps for the empowerment of women”

There. Okay, now we’ve got the dictionary.com definition (or at least part of it). It’s one of my favorite four syllable words; right up there with inspiration and motivation. Those kinds of words are like mantras and warrior cries, particularly for women, who wish to rise above circumstance and become their best self; in short they are awesomely powerful words to direct at yourself and others. But (there’s always a but) I’ve noticed this annoying sub-version of these intended-to-be-inspiring messages on social media & in conversations.

When It’s Done Wrong

Hypocrisy.  If you shout and tout your conviction that ‘WOMEN EMPOWER OTHER WOMEN!” and then bash another woman for her life choices… you are a jerk hypocrite. You don’t get to pick and choose who you think is empowerment worthy! Every woman & girl, from the stripper to the CEO deserves to be and feel empowered. You cannot, for current example, call Hillary Clinton a hero and Ivanka Trump (or any other woman) derogatory names … and claim that you believe in empowering women.

Man-Bashing. If you feel the need to put down, berate, or belittle men and their value to us: you are not truly empowered. A woman truly empowered doesn’t feel the need to bring anyone down. I don’t care if your ex is a piece of crap or your dad left you when you were little; if your eyes aren’t forward looking and your chin isn’t held high: you are not empowered, you’re bitter. Bitterness is toxic, and it will prevent you from ever being empowered. Let that shit go.

Blame-Gaming: This is the United States of America, y’all. Not the Middle East. You are NOT repressed. Your vote counts, your voice is heard, your contributions have changed the course of the world many times over, and they’l continue to do so. You are not a victim of  gender, so stop acting like it. The great women in history, from the women’s suffragists to Rosa Parks and beyond have made their voices heard. (Oh, and they did it with dignity, not p***y hats). In 2017, it is no one’s fault but your own if you’re not thriving. Don’t tell me ‘cards are stacked against me ’cause I’m a female‘, I will call bullshit every time.

Be Truly Empowered & Empowering

If you honestly, sincerely want to be a woman of substance and empowerment, then speak words of praise & kindness about yourself & others, or be quiet. Respect that everyone’s journey is different. You don’t have to agree with a single thing someone does, but by the rules of basic human decency, you have to respect them. Tear no one down in the process of building yourself up. Basically? Just be a good human, get satisfaction in it, encourage others to do so, and you will find the key to genuine empowerment.

About Modern Melly: About Modern Melly, aka Melanie Cherniack: Melanie a a published author to nine children’s books, as well as two novels, all available through her website modernmelly.com/shop. Melanie is also the founder and designer of the #goodhuman brand, selling empowering, uplifting and inspiring merchandise which benefits numerous charities. Visit igoodhuman.com for more. She is available for book signing events as well as speaking engagements. To book an event email Melanie at modernmellyworld@gmail.com. Find Melly on FacebookHERE and on Twitter HERE.