So I have to preface this post with an explanation: Last week my husband and I were having a difference of opinion- okay, fine, a bit of an argument really- about an obligation versus a commitment, which one takes precedence, which of us was right, which was wrong, blah blah blah. It happens, no big deal. Funny enough, it was over a common occurrence in Police family life- the whole we have plans to do something, but a work related thing came up, so I can’t go- kind of thing. This particular ‘thing’ fell into the grey area (in my opinion, not his), and you know what? I was pissed. He was shocked that I was pissed, and was quick to remind me of my own words (wiseguy, ayyyy) that “this is what police wife life is like” and we “have to be able to roll with changes in plans”. Well, obviously (to me, not to him) this was not the same. I, of course, reminded him that I do always “roll with it” and that I do not need job training for my position as a police wife, thank you very much. All in all, we were over it in a hot minute. However, it got me to thinking about what a job application for a police wife would look like. What kind of questions would be on it? What exactly would the job description be? So… of course I mocked one up for all the future police wives out there! And of course, I’m just joking. I mean, I’m serious, but in a joking way. Anyhow, here ya have it:
JOB APPLICATION
Positions available: Law Enforcement Spouse
Full/Part Time: Currently only full time positions available
Benefits: Yes.
Applicant Name__________ DOB________ Contact_________
Job Duties (general): All applicants are expected to wear their big girl pants most, of not all of the time. All applicants must be willing to change plans on a moments notice, attend holiday & special occasion events solo. A strong sense of self, humor, and independence are suggested, but not required. Ability to be a best friend, confidant, and sometimes silent partner a must. Scheduling and home maintenance management skills a bonus.
Job Duties (physical): You must be able to recognize the sound of bullets rattling in the washing machine, maneuver around various police related gear in your living quarters, adopt or at least adapt to ‘police lingo’. Exit awareness/strategies knowledge and preparedness a bonus.
Job Duties (emotional): In addition, applicants should be aware of: late nights, long nights, call backs, calls during dinner, calls during the movies, calls anytime. Applicants can expect rude and inappropriate questions from strangers and loved ones, and should be able to deflect aforementioned with skill and ease. Alienation is a possibility, however, numerous opportunities for meeting lifelong friends and blue family exist.
This job requires flexibility and strong partnership skills. Only applicants who fit this description should apply. Becoming a police spouse is a serious commitment, one that cannot be taken lightly. Your responsibilities as a police spouse are equal in importance and directly affect your police spouse’s ability to perform the duties set to him. Please review the above to be sure you fit this criteria. Serious inquiries only, please.
While it is not the policy to discriminate against any potential applicant please be advised of the following factors that may cause elimination from candidacy:
Weakness (as it pertains to mental fortitude)
Selfishness
Unlawful behavior or practices
Anti-Police sentiment
___________________________
List any and all previous experience you have as a police girlfriend/spouse (This will not exclude you from the application process, however, management reserves the right to take into consideration the possibility serial police groupies)_______________________________
Please list below, in your own words, why you believe you would make a good police spouse:
————————————————–All Applications Are Reviewed In A Timely Manner———————————*If you have not received a response from this office within 24 hrs, you are not police spouse material.
Office Use Only Below Line
