Own Your Fifty

Own Your Fifty

Own Your Fifty ModernMelly The Dark Side of Life About 11 years (or so) ago I was in a dark, ugly, personal space in life, in my mind, and especially in my heart. It sucked. It also led me to make reckless choices that not only impacted me, they affected those around me. I mean, of course … Read More

Year In Review. Kind Of-ish.

Year In Review. Kind Of-ish.

Year In Review. Kind Of-ish by ModernMelly Well, hello! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?! Hope you’re all doing well & have made it through 2016 as unscathed as one could be after 365 days of getting out there and adulting  in what has proven to be an interesting year indeed. I’m well, thank you … Read More

12 People You Know (And Want to Slap Sometimes) On Facebook

12 People You Know (And Want to Slap Sometimes) On Facebook

  12 People You Know (And Want To Slap Sometimes) On Facebook by ModernMelly We all know em, we all ARE them ( at one time or another, at least) and we all roll our eyes at them. Let’s get right to messing with our favorite Facebook-ers, shall we? 1) The Humblebragger Oh, the master-er … Read More

Soul Mate or Soul Sucker?

Soul Mate or Soul Sucker?

Soul Mate, Or Soul Sucker? By ModernMelly   I read a Facebook post late last night, just before bed, from a beautiful young woman; a gut wrenching breakup post that instantly sent me back to the heartbreaks of my youth. Now, I won’t minimize this girl’s devastation, her certainty that she’d just lost her soul … Read More

Home is The Haven: Police Family Life

Home is The Haven: Police Family Life

Making home the haven. Now that sounds nice, doesn’t? But is it easy? Hell no, at least not at first. But the fact is, if you’ve married a police officer, then you know you didn’t sign on for ‘easy’. After I wrote my story “Life Lessons I’ve Learned From Being A Police Wife” I was asked … Read More

Online Job Application: Police Wife

Online Job Application: Police Wife

So I have to preface this post with an explanation: Last week my husband and I were having a difference of opinion- okay, fine, a bit of an argument really- about an obligation versus a commitment, which one takes precedence, which of us was right, which was wrong, blah blah blah. It happens, no big … Read More

Thanks Mister

Thanks Mister

This morning when I woke up, I did the same first thing that I always do: I check my phone. More specifically, I check (in this order) my texts, my Twitter notifications, email glance, then ahh: my Facebook feed. As you may (or may not) know, that is my world news source; friends, family, politics, … Read More

Dear 44th Birthday

Dear 44th Birthday

Dear 44th, Aww, hey, what’s up? Listen, I just wanted to welcome you, and you know, try and make you feel a little less the ‘outsider’ here. I get how you must feel, 44; you’re not Ms. Hot Shot Big Deal 45, and 43 is already walked away with a ‘see ya, wouldn’t wanna be … Read More

12 Happy Pages For Social Media Addicts

12 Happy Pages For Social Media Addicts

  12 Happy Pages For Social Media Addicts By Modern Melly Hello fellow social media addicts! Disclaimer: This is not a support group, nor will I try to persuade you to step away from the computer/laptop/tablet/smartphone and go enjoy nature and a real conversation with spoken words and no emoticons. Nope, that’s someone else’s job. … Read More

Dear Everyone Writing A ‘Dear____’ Blog

Dear Everyone Writing A ‘Dear____’ Blog

Dear everyone and their mother that writes a blog, including me: STOP FUCKING WRITING ‘DEAR (insert person type here)’. Enough already, we get it. Seriously. Dear children’s costume company, stop making costumes gender specific.Dear lady at the gym that looked at me funny while I was on the treadmill eating a Snickers bar. Dear man … Read More

Thank You, From A Police Wife

Thank You, From A Police Wife

Anyone that reads my stories knows I love social media, Facebook particularly, and that I start my day by reading my Facebook wall like it’s the morning paper. In my defense: it is like the morning paper; there’s your world news, local news, entertainment, but then there’s so much more: updates on how friends and family are starting … Read More

We Have Forgotten

We Have Forgotten

I admit it. I hash-tagged “Never Forget” this morning, posted it on social media along with one of the many, many, heart breaking photos from September 11, 2011. Then I immediately regretted it. But not because I don’t feel it, or think it. Not because I don’t have reverence and solemnity for all those innocent … Read More

A Moderate American Taps the Mic, Revisited

A Moderate American Taps the Mic, Revisited

Revisiting A Moderate America Takes the Mic By Modern Melly I wrote this back in August, a spur of the moment, knee jerk reaction to current events. This morning, I decided to revisit and revamp and see what, if any thing has changed. New remarks are in red. Hello, my name is Moderate American. You … Read More

Dear Modern Moms (Message from a Dinosaur Mom)

Dear Modern Moms (Message from a Dinosaur Mom)

With so many topics to choose from- Donald Trump running for President (love it. Gasp, I said it), the senseless and cowardly slaughter of Cecil the Lion (heartsick over it), Planned Parenthood selling baby body parts (conflicted about it), ISIS (violently hate it), Horrible Hillary(nuff said), and so many more mind melting news stories, I’ve … Read More

Too Many Heroes

Too Many Heroes

Ahem. *Stands on soapbox, taps microphone. I couldn’t help but notice, and of course partake in the numerous dialogues and debates over what constitutes a Hero. Since I haven’t posted a vent in a while, and I know you’re just dying for one from me (wink, wink, j/k) I thought I’d add my useless opinion … Read More

Welcome Winds Of Change

Welcome Winds Of Change

“Welcome winds of change…” or so I keep telling myself. Repeatedly. Daily. Almost hourly. From where did this obsessiveness with this phrase come?  Ah, well it started last week, as I absently scrolled down my Facebook wall. Meme after meme, post after post, article after article. I was in a “Facebook fog”- a phenomenon as equally … Read More

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day by ModernMelly Brief historical fact for those who think Father’s Day is just another Hallmark created fake holiday: The first (documented) celebration of Father’s Day occurred in 1910, in Spokane, Washington and was held by a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd in honor of her father, a Civil War Veteran named William … Read More

Boxes, Prayers & Swears (AKA Sanity Savers)

Boxes, Prayers & Swears (AKA Sanity Savers)

Yes. That’s right: Boxes, Prayers & Swears. Where’s she going with this, right? Well,  it’s kinda my thing, among other things, of course, for getting through life’s ‘stuff’. I love all three, plus one that’s not up there: Drinks. I left it out so as not to offend the teetotalers. I’m nice like that, because … Read More

You Think You Know Me (Because Once, You Knew Me)

You Think You Know Me (Because Once, You Knew Me)

You Think You Know Me (Because Once, You Knew Me) by ModernMelly A funny thing happened when I began dating my husband: I changed. At least, that’s how some people in my life have put it. Instinctively, I bristle, and want to say screw you, because that’s what comes to mind first. Granted, I’d be more … Read More

If I Had A Soundtrack To My Life

If I Had A Soundtrack To My Life

As you, of course know (because you follow my blog so devoutly. Wink, wink.) I am a police loving, lipstick wearing, Steve Perry obsessed, I Love You, Man drinker, who has a penchant for imagining that I am living an ever running live TV show, of which I am obviously: The Star. As the star of … Read More

Police Wife

Police Wife

“We see their heart, we know their soul. We are their safe place …We are the relief at the end of a shift where they have seen the worst that humanity has to offer.”

Well, I’ll Be Damned

Well, I’ll Be Damned

Well, I”l be damned. That’s what I was thinking, a few days ago, as I bobbed along in an aluminum kayak, in the middle of a crystal clear Florida spring, alone. It was beautiful, as you can see by the picture. It was a serene,lovely place, surrounded by a myriad of trees and bush, Spanish moss … Read More

I’m Not Talking To You, I’m Talking To Me

I’m Not Talking To You, I’m Talking To Me

We all do it. Don’t deny it… we all talk to ourselves. Sometimes, we’re the only one who listens, am I right?! (hardy-har-har, I know). It’s totally normal, healthy even, to have internal dialogues as we navigate through our day. Of course, the key word there was: internal. If you’re blabbing away out loud to … Read More

As A Mom

As A Mom

I woke up this morning excited that my daughter and her boyfriend were coming over for breakfast. Watching my daughter as an adult, navigating her way through life, is something I still marvel at still, even though she’s been on her own for nearly two years now. It got me thinking about both of my … Read More

It’s Just My Face

It’s Just My Face

*As I recall it, it was on a warm summer day in 1977, when I was first given a inkling that something was different, perhaps even wrong with me. I was but a mere child, all of six years old, when a kindly looking stranger approached my mother and I smiling. He bent down, tousled my hair, … Read More

If I Could Just Get Out Of My Own Way

If I Could Just Get Out Of My Own Way

Seriously. If I could just get out of my own way, I’d do just peachy. I’m meaning this in a most literal sense, but I briefly acknowledge that I also mean it figuratively as well. But that’s another story. (For real, I’ll probably write another story about that.) Fortunately, my literal trips, stumbles, slips and … Read More

When Is A Dream Just A Dream

When Is A Dream Just A Dream

I’ve always been a super, and I mean super, vivid dreamer. In fact, I have dreams from childhood that I can still recall with sharp detail. I also have had a series of recurring dreams, begun in childhood, that I still occasionally have to this day. I used to dream The Wizard Of Oz (combination … Read More

Life Lessons I’ve Learned By Being A Police Wife

Life Lessons I’ve Learned By Being A Police Wife

My husband and I met over a dozen years ago, through a dating website. We both, come to find out, just wanted to try something out of our comfort zones, neither actually “looking for love” or a one night stand for that matter. For me, as a self professed “in a bubble” girl. I only … Read More

Drinking and Blogging

Drinking and Blogging

Rule Number One: Don’t Drink and Blog. I mean, that probably is a good rule, considering that your ability to filter your thoughts is as impaired as… well, as you are. Or, in this case, I am. Was. Even though I’m undrunk now, I’m still going to share with you the deep thoughts of an … Read More

10 Songs I Hate, But Know Every Word To

10 Songs I Hate, But Know Every Word To

  This morning I woke up, with no discernable reason, with the song Rainy Days and Mondays playing in in my head. Now, A) It’s not Monday, it’s Tuesday. B) It’s not raining, it’s actually an M- F-ing blizzard, first of the season. Had I not seen the weather forecast, or looked outside, I’d know it to be true … Read More

Mean Kinda Funny

Mean Kinda Funny

Some people seem to be born with that gene that makes them just simply know how to act right, behave, be cool. They tell appropriate jokes, they laugh normal… my humor? Well, let’s say that it takes a certain kind of folk to appreciate. It all comes from the German side of the family, my mother’s side. Germans love mean humor- you know, … Read More

Dear 20-Something: An Open Apology

Dear 20-Something: An Open Apology

*Disclaimer: when I started this blog post, I was in a bitchy, pissed off, and disgusted mood. I’d been watching too much “news” with their primary focus on too many privileged college aged people making asses and nuisances of themselves “protesting” things they knew little to nothing about. My contempt, annoyance and disgust was channeled … Read More

15 Song Lyrics That Stole My Heart

15 Song Lyrics That Stole My Heart

15 Song Lyrics That Stole My Heart By ModernMelly Words. Wickedly, wonderfully powerful words. I love the way they wrap around, and cut through, and dance all about. I love that a single word, spoken just so, can cast a spell…or break one.  I love that words can fill pages and pages of a book … Read More

The Art of Being Vague

Ah, the art of being vague. It’s, you know, kind of simple but not. (See what I did there? I was being vague.) Now, you forthright, direct people may wonder; Is this a thing? And if so, why is it a thing? Well, I’ll tell you, as directly as I’m capable. Being vague has multiple … Read More

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?!

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?!

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?! By ModernMelly   Heyyy. Sigh. So. I took an unplanned, unwanted month (plus) long hiatus from, well… everything, thanks to the flu, and subsequently pneumonia. It pretty much kicked the shit out of me, to put it bluntly. Thirteen day of fever, a few doctor visits, an ER trip, and … Read More

7 Rules For Unf*cking Your Divorce (When You Have Kids.)

7 Rules For Unf*cking Your Divorce (When You Have Kids.)

7 Rules For UnF*cking Your Divorce (When You Have Kids) by ModernMelly Writing What I Know As an aspiring (paid) writer, I’ve often heard, and taken to heart, the sage advice to “write what you know.” Logical advice, isn’t it? Because it would silly beyond reason for me to sit here and attempt to write … Read More

Scattered

Yup. Scattered. That’d be the word for describing my brain activity yesterday, and so far (at 9:15am) the word of today, as well. Why? No seriously, whyyyyy ?? I’ve been trying to pin point the reason since yesterday morning, when I found myself all over the place- physically and mentally- from the moment I woke up. I had … Read More

Simply Complicated

Last night I went to sleep thinking, ‘Tomorrow, I’m going to work on a happy/light post for the blog!” That exclamation point was overkill, I wasn’t that exuberant for God sakes. Not to say that I’m unenthusiastic about blogging, I really am. I love the fact that letters strung together to create words, which can become … Read More

What Do you Mean, We’re Not Rich?

    Growing up I had every reason to believe we were wealthy. After all, we had a huge in-ground swimming pool, tennis courts, fully decked out playground, 20 acres of land to roam wild on, as well as huge pine trees to climb and hills to go sledding down.. it was awesome. And clearly … Read More

I’m Just Here For The Comments

I have an amazing group of friends. I simply love each one of them, and what they bring to the group. Now, having said that, I’ve got to tell you: they’re nuts. Granted, not certifiably so, and probably not any more nuts than your group of friends, but nuts nonetheless. So, I’ll give you a little background, … Read More

My 42 Year Dramedy

Let’s get right to it. I have an awkward confession to make. I don’t even know why on earth I’d want you to know how utterly…

Poor Man’s Barbie

…but I freaking love Barbie. Sure, she’s proportionally impossible. Yes, she may set an unrealistic standard for what is perceived as beautiful. But ….