You Are Not Broken

A Girl’s Mantra

by Elsa Kurt

Broken.

We hear this word so often in the context of humans, of human relationships. It bothers me, gets right under my skin and digs like a splinter- one of those little tiny ones you can feel but can’t quite get at, this contextual usage. Broken? Yes, I know what you mean, how you mean it, and that is exactly why it bothers me. Another thorn (or splinter, I suppose): you rarely hear guys say this, this term about themselves –‘broken‘. It’s usually girls. And that makes… me…. crazy. Not because I want guys to feel this way, but because I don’t want girls, women, to feel this way.

Be Unbroken

So let me share with you my really important message that I hope you’ll take to heart:

You are not broken. You are unbreakable, unbroken. Things get broken, humans get hurt. To suggest that you are broken- that someone has broken you– is to say that you are nothing more that glass, or a toy, or any inanimate object that can be made into non-working pieces. You are not that. You are not glass, or wood, or plastic. You are flesh and bone and mind and body. Yes, something may break your bone, puncture your skin, but you have been made, designed to heal.

You are neither fragile, nor delicate, nor incapable of fortitude. Words will not destroy you…unless you give them power to. Your heart will continue to beat, air will still fill your lungs. You will inhale and exhale as you have always done. Your lungs and your heart are telling you- you are not broken.

When your heart has been hurt- hurt, not broken–  and you believe in that moment that you will never love, never trust again, know that you are wrong. Cry. Feel. Hurt. Do all of those things. But then? Well, then, put it away. Let it go (don’t sing it, don’t sing it…too late). Carry lessons in your mind, not burdens on your back or bitterness in your heart.

You may not know it yet, but in your mind, you’re building your ‘perfect-for-you’ guy with the help of the ‘not-right-for-you’ guys. Thank them for their contributions to your growth, because now you know what you don’t want from another human being. More importantly, though: you are building you. If you are building yourself with jagged pieces, you will be a jagged human. You’re worth more than that. So much more.

Indomitable Spirit

So, embrace your hurt, your heartache. One day they will become your badges of courage, a testament to your strength. You’ll bear those invisible scars with pride and dignity because you have let nothing, no one, break you. No one broke your spirit, it is indomitable. No one has undermined your self-worth, stole your ability to be kind or to care. You’ve recognized your own faults, and forgiveness has set you free.

Lastly, my wish for you is this knowledge: You are unbreakable.