12 People You Know (And Want to Slap Sometimes) On Facebook

12 People You Know (And Want to Slap Sometimes) On Facebook

  12 People You Know (And Want To Slap Sometimes) On Facebook by ModernMelly We all know em, we all ARE them ( at one time or another, at least) and we all roll our eyes at them. Let’s get right to messing with our favorite Facebook-ers, shall we? 1) The Humblebragger Oh, the master-er … Read More

Soul Mate or Soul Sucker?

Soul Mate or Soul Sucker?

Soul Mate, Or Soul Sucker? By ModernMelly   I read a Facebook post late last night, just before bed, from a beautiful young woman; a gut wrenching breakup post that instantly sent me back to the heartbreaks of my youth. Now, I won’t minimize this girl’s devastation, her certainty that she’d just lost her soul … Read More

Online Job Application: Police Wife

Online Job Application: Police Wife

So I have to preface this post with an explanation: Last week my husband and I were having a difference of opinion- okay, fine, a bit of an argument really- about an obligation versus a commitment, which one takes precedence, which of us was right, which was wrong, blah blah blah. It happens, no big … Read More

Dear 44th Birthday

Dear 44th Birthday

Dear 44th, Aww, hey, what’s up? Listen, I just wanted to welcome you, and you know, try and make you feel a little less the ‘outsider’ here. I get how you must feel, 44; you’re not Ms. Hot Shot Big Deal 45, and 43 is already walked away with a ‘see ya, wouldn’t wanna be … Read More

Dear Everyone Writing A ‘Dear____’ Blog

Dear Everyone Writing A ‘Dear____’ Blog

Dear everyone and their mother that writes a blog, including me: STOP FUCKING WRITING ‘DEAR (insert person type here)’. Enough already, we get it. Seriously. Dear children’s costume company, stop making costumes gender specific.Dear lady at the gym that looked at me funny while I was on the treadmill eating a Snickers bar. Dear man … Read More

We Have Forgotten

We Have Forgotten

I admit it. I hash-tagged “Never Forget” this morning, posted it on social media along with one of the many, many, heart breaking photos from September 11, 2011. Then I immediately regretted it. But not because I don’t feel it, or think it. Not because I don’t have reverence and solemnity for all those innocent … Read More

Top Internet Troll & Trash Talker Tactics

Top Internet Troll & Trash Talker Tactics

Today’s topic is: Internet Trolls and the Trash They Talk! We all know ’em, we all love…err, hate ’em! Ya can’t live with them, and ya can’t give ’em a little shove off a big cliff, now can ya?!Aren’t they are fucking awesome? (She says with heavy sarcasm) Sigh. Right? So, since we can’t get rid … Read More

A Moderate American Taps the Mic, Revisited

A Moderate American Taps the Mic, Revisited

Revisiting A Moderate America Takes the Mic By Modern Melly I wrote this back in August, a spur of the moment, knee jerk reaction to current events. This morning, I decided to revisit and revamp and see what, if any thing has changed. New remarks are in red. Hello, my name is Moderate American. You … Read More

Imagined Conversations With Our Cat & Dog

Imagined Conversations With Our Cat & Dog

We have a ugly/cute Shih-Tzu named Silas and an ugly/cute Blue Point Himalayan named Biggie (actually, it’s Notorious B.I.G.) I say ugly/cute because, as their human parent, I think they’re lovely. The reactions from others tells me different. In their defense, I’m positive they look at us, their people, and think much the same. Here … Read More

Too Many Heroes

Too Many Heroes

Ahem. *Stands on soapbox, taps microphone. I couldn’t help but notice, and of course partake in the numerous dialogues and debates over what constitutes a Hero. Since I haven’t posted a vent in a while, and I know you’re just dying for one from me (wink, wink, j/k) I thought I’d add my useless opinion … Read More

Welcome Winds Of Change

Welcome Winds Of Change

“Welcome winds of change…” or so I keep telling myself. Repeatedly. Daily. Almost hourly. From where did this obsessiveness with this phrase come?  Ah, well it started last week, as I absently scrolled down my Facebook wall. Meme after meme, post after post, article after article. I was in a “Facebook fog”- a phenomenon as equally … Read More

Ten Traits Sarcastic Women Share

Ten Traits Sarcastic Women Share

Chronically sarcastic women are oft misunderstood, it a basic fact. Sometimes it’s a literal “you-honestly-don’t-get-sarcasm, do you?” kind of thing, and other times it’s the whole “you have to know me and know what I know in order to understand why I’m sarcastic” deal. Nonetheless, we are a misunderstood species. Unless we are talking to each … Read More

A Simple Truth

A Simple Truth

A rainy Sunday morning and 30 minutes of scrolling my Facebook news feed was all it took to get this one going. All that’s missing is my morning cup of coffee in my ‘writing cup’, but I’ll grab that after its done brewing & in between sentences. You wont even notice I’m gone. So, I’m … Read More

I Love You Man (Drunk)

I Love You Man (Drunk)

My husband and I went out last night for a show- Dwight Yoakam, if you care (and even if you don’t). Weeknight shows are a little rough- after working all day, and knowing you have to be up in the morning- but we still got our drink on and had a blast. I knew we … Read More

I’m Not Talking To You, I’m Talking To Me

I’m Not Talking To You, I’m Talking To Me

We all do it. Don’t deny it… we all talk to ourselves. Sometimes, we’re the only one who listens, am I right?! (hardy-har-har, I know). It’s totally normal, healthy even, to have internal dialogues as we navigate through our day. Of course, the key word there was: internal. If you’re blabbing away out loud to … Read More

If I Could Just Get Out Of My Own Way

If I Could Just Get Out Of My Own Way

Seriously. If I could just get out of my own way, I’d do just peachy. I’m meaning this in a most literal sense, but I briefly acknowledge that I also mean it figuratively as well. But that’s another story. (For real, I’ll probably write another story about that.) Fortunately, my literal trips, stumbles, slips and … Read More

Life Lessons I’ve Learned By Being A Police Wife

Life Lessons I’ve Learned By Being A Police Wife

My husband and I met nearly 8 years ago, through a dating website. We both, come to find out, just wanted to try something out of our comfort zones, neither actually “looking for love” or a one night stand for that matter. For me, as a self professed “bubble girl”- I only liked my circle … Read More

Drinking and Blogging

Drinking and Blogging

Rule Number One: Don’t Drink and Blog. I mean, that probably is a good rule, considering that your ability to filter your thoughts is as impaired as… well, as you are. Or, in this case, I am. Was. Even though I’m undrunk now, I’m still going to share with you the deep thoughts of an … Read More

The Art of Being Vague

Ah, the art of being vague. It’s, you know, kind of simple but not. (See what I did there? I was being vague.) Now, you forthright, direct people may wonder; Is this a thing? And if so, why is it a thing? Well, I’ll tell you, as directly as I’m capable. Being vague has multiple … Read More

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?!

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?!

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?! By ModernMelly   Heyyy. Sigh. So. I took an unplanned, unwanted month (plus) long hiatus from, well… everything, thanks to the flu, and subsequently pneumonia. It pretty much kicked the shit out of me, to put it bluntly. Thirteen day of fever, a few doctor visits, an ER trip, and … Read More

What Do you Mean, We’re Not Rich?

    Growing up I had every reason to believe we were wealthy. After all, we had a huge in-ground swimming pool, tennis courts, fully decked out playground, 20 acres of land to roam wild on, as well as huge pine trees to climb and hills to go sledding down.. it was awesome. And clearly … Read More

I’m Just Here For The Comments

I have an amazing group of friends. I simply love each one of them, and what they bring to the group. Now, having said that, I’ve got to tell you: they’re nuts. Granted, not certifiably so, and probably not any more nuts than your group of friends, but nuts nonetheless. So, I’ll give you a little background, … Read More

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