Diary of a Plane Ride(Since I Dont Know What Else To Do)

Today, at 43 years old, I took my very first solo plane trip. I was nervous, simply put. Im not a fan of air travel, nor am I a fan of strangers, or going away without my husband. Now, before you call the wahhhmbulance, let me say: I’m not complaining- I’m just stating the facts. The other fact is, that it’s totally worth the stress of stepping  outside my bubble, because I’m going to see my youngest in sunny Florida.

Since I had nothing else to do with myself at 5am, alone in an airport, I thought I’d give a play by play of my every boring moment. And then blog it. Here it is:

5:01am: sitting in airport. Alone. Well, not alone, techically-there’s a full plane’s worth of travelers sitting all around me, waiting as well. But: alone in the sense that I don’t have my people with me.

5:05 Someone coughed next to me, and I have no one to give a horrified gasp to.

5:08 I’m trying to have this lovely reflective Zen moment, and people are making it difficult. For instance, woman behind me is loud talking with her grating, cheerful voice. Seriously, it sounds like she swallowed gravel. I don’t care about her new living room set, and yet I’m forced to hear every detail.

5:10 boarding is about to begin. I’m in boarding group C. Last group to board plane, pot luck seating and good fricking luck finding overhead space for my carry on. I’m having anxiety. I hope someone offers to help me, so I don’t have to ask for assistance. Then again, I hope no one talks to me.

5:12 wow they’re already lining up group B. This is not very exciting, is it? I have no idea why I’m writing this. Yes I do. It’s because I need something to do so I don’t make eye contact with anyone.

5:15 family of four +a mother in law are next to me. Horrible woman, the mother. Nasty attitude, and she’s taking her kids to Disney?! God help them.

5:26 I did it. I’m on the plane, found space for my carry on. Only had to speak twice. It was twice too many, but I’m okay. I survived. No one sitting next to me. Yet. It’ll be to good to last, I know this.

5:29 I was right. But it’s okay-cute little girl and her dad. I can deal with that easily.

5:40 giant tin can is beginning to move. I’m sure I smell something burning. Wait. I could be wrong. Is it too early to order a Bloody Mary? Do I care what these people will think of this solitary woman drinking by 6am?

5:42 that wing sure does bounce a lot. Oh, but the moon is still out. That’s pretty.

5:43 trying to not sit with my legs crossed. I’m afraid I’ll get a blood clot and die. It’s not likely, I know, but still thinking it. Is that weird?

5:45 speeding up.

5:48 and we’re up. Ugh. And cool. Bye snow.

5:52 time to take a snooze, or at least try. Catch you again on the landing.

6:18 not sleeping, and not by choice. It’s courtesy of a little seat kicker behind me. Thanks unobservant parental unit.

6:19 really want that Bloody Mary now.

6:26 fuck it. I did it. Ordered the damn drink. Whatever. Judge me, mother of small child who switched places with her husband and sat next to me. You’re jealous, I know you are. Or not.

7:10 feeling happy. What a lightweight, right? Anyhow. Halfway there, seat kicker still being a pain in the seat. Caring much less now. Between the drink and the Debussey coming through my headphones, and knowing that in just over an hour I’ll see my youngest.

7:26 almost two hours of seat kicking. I kid you not. And she added window shade flicking to her repertoire. A more assertive person would’ve said something a while ago. I don’t talk to strangers, remember. I’ll just suffer silently.

8:12 almost done with this hell flight. We’re ahead of schedule, by about 10 min. Nice. Extra time to navigate the unfamiliar airport. Hopefully, I cam follow someone who knows where they’re going.

8:30 I see land. I repeat, I see land. Not snow. Four days of not snow is good.

8:46 finally, getting the hell off this thing. Praise Jesus. (In my best at church voice) now, to find my way to my kid…

5:40pm a full ten hours, outlet shopping spree, glass of Chardonnay later, we are settled in at the domicile. Only three day with my kiddo, so time’s a wasting!

Bye!