Five Ways To Embrace The Chaos

Cut yourself some slack, mama. Or papa, or whoever you are. Yeah, we see these quotes all the time – the slow downs, smell the roses, get Zen, breathe, chill, and my favorite: Embrace the Chaos – we know, we know. We also know it’s easier said than done. Nama-fucking-ste, right? But seriously, and in the great words of Taylor Swift, you need to calm down.

Embrace the chaos, huh? Okay. No problem. How hard can that be? Newsflash: It’s really fucking hard. But, it can be done. And, this, coming from someone who is the very definition of (controlled) chaos, and not loving it.

If You Don’t Want To Have A Heart Attack…

And honestly, I don’t either, we should take Taylor’s sage advice. Fun fact, when someone tells me to calm down, I want to rip their smug face off and shove it down their throat. Sorry, that’s a bit graphic (but I mean it). I’m guessing maybe you feel the same, yes? But, Jesus, we’ve got to do something, don’t we?

Please Don’t Say Yoga…

Nah. I mean, technically, yeah. Meditation, too. But those are so obvious. Like, duh. Thanks. Karen, for that brilliant suggestion I’ve never heard before [insert eyeroll]. Anyhow, I’ve come up with this simple, unoriginal Four-Step Solution (patent not pending) for, um, coping with… life.

*Without Further Ado

I present my Four-Step Solution to blah, blah, blah.

• Embrace The Chaos. Yeah, fo’ realz. Do it. Look around, shrug, and say fuck it. (Maybe whisper it if there are other people – particularly small ones- around) accept the fact that things – whether literal or emotional- are a mess.
• Tackle. No, not another human. Your tasks. Now help your husband back up off the floor and make a To Do list. I love my lists. Frea-KING love them.
• Blow Off Some Steam. Nothing like throwing some axes at a wall, taking a painting class, or some form of tolerable exercise to get your head straightish.
• Learn To Say No. I mean this in a variety of ways. Your kid doesn’t have to be enrolled in every single sport or activity. You don’t have to show up for every get-togther with your home-cooked/baked dish. You don’t have to make sure you hit your steps for the day EVERY SINGLE DAY. You don’t have to apologize for not wanting to do something or go somewhere or be around someone who makes toxic the very air you breathe.
• Get Yourself A Hobby. Or a marketable side-hustle. Like, oh I don’t know, writing. Coincidentally, I can help. Check out this link for details.

Let Me Emphasise That Last One…

I’m not going to cap-lock this, but know that I’m shouting: You don’t have to apologize, or feel guilty, for removing yourself from toxicity. Life is hard enough without soul vampires sucking the life out of you, my love. Embracing chaos means accepting the things out of your control, not inviting misery to the table.  

Yeah, But Do I Walk The Walk?

Yeppers, I do. I have to. I take my mental health and happiness very seriously. I worked hard (and, honestly, got crazy lucky) to get here. I’ll forever be a work in progress, but progress is where I lie emphasis. I recognize in my friends, relatives, and acquaintances the struggle, and because I’m not a total selfish asshole, I want to help. But because I’m a writer and not a therapist… I write my thoughts, ideas, and possibly skewed insights. Hopefully, whoever needs to read this, does. So, that’s kind of all I’ve got for today. Unless I count shameless self-promotion and tell you the next installment of my Welcome To Chance series is coming out February 11th.

xo – Elsa

Ohh, wait. That asterisk before “Without Further Ado.” Amusing (I mean that snarkily) sidenote. I had a Goodreads reviewer declare my writing “pretentious” because of my use of “without further ado,” so I dedicate my every use to her. Because not only am I pretentious, I’m childish.