I Love You Man (Drunk)

My husband and I went out last night for a show- Dwight Yoakam, if you care (and even if you don’t). Weeknight shows are a little rough- after working all day, and knowing you have to be up in the morning- but we still got our drink on and had a blast. I knew we would, because it’s how we do.

Speaking of getting our drink on (a not so subtle segue) , I want to talk about my favorite kind of drinker: the I Love You Man Drunk. And I write that honestly, there’s no sarcasm here. In fact, I happen to be one.

I mean, since I just happen to be an I Love You Man kind of drinker, it’s really a matter of course they’re my favorite. Now, I suppose it’s obvious- no one likes a mean drunk, or a sloppy drunk… but who doesn’t love an I Love You Man Drunk?! We’re great! We say nice things! Give compliments! We suddenly like- I mean love- everyone!

I Love You Man Drunks also suddenly realize how awesome everything around us is; as in:This is the most delicious food, ever. This is the most beautiful night- yup, that’s right: ever. Everything and everyone is perfect, (so fricking perfect, man).*

We start every other sentence with, “So, can I just tell you” and usual finish it off with saying how beautiful you are (slightly slurry: like so beautiful), how much we have always admired your hair (or clothing, or eyelashes, or something equally weird). We’ll probably, at least once, pet you as if you’re our favorite furry little friend.

I love, fricking love this particular state of inebriation, and quite frankly, I’m kind of really awesome at it. It’s true, my friends love when I hit the ILYMD point. When sober, I’m a bit of a, “hey, you stay there, I’l stay here” person… and an, “Ew, let’s not talk about our feelings”  kinda girl. Call it my German upbringing, call it, um, you’re just a cold-hearted witch- whatever- all the same: I’m just nicer when I drink. And technically-we all know it- you’re true inner self comes out when you drink, so it’s pretty nice that my inner self is sorta sweet. Who knew?!

Anyhow, I bring this all up, not because of my I Love You Man Drunk state last night (which I was) but because of someone else’s ILYMD state of being, and the super awesome compliment bestowed upon us because of that aforementioned state. It’s a perfect illustration of why ILYM drunks are the best.

So, the scene was: I’d just told my husband that we should take a selfie (yah, go ahead, roll your eyes), he gets the phone in position, snaps a pic, and as he does a guy walks up with his 100% pure Boston accent and says, “Nah, Nah, gimme that thing, I’ll take it fah yah.” He does, we thank him, done.

Fast forward about 20 minutes (and a another round of drinks). The hubs and I are deep in our own little ILYM conversation (’cause that’s another “how we do”) when our Boston buddy (also another round in the tank) comes back over, and launches into an absolutely lovely ILYMD monologue that went something like this:

“Alright, I gotta tell you two, Ahm ova here watching you two, not all creepy like, or nothin’, but Ahm sayin’ to myself, ‘ Damn, this is one good lookin’ couple’ so, Om, like, I gotta just tell these two. Yawr like a beautiful couple, not for nothin’. He pauses, looks around then continues:So, you know, Om just saying,[gesturing to me] you’re like WOW, and [to my husband] Dude , ya girls’ like, Oh, my Gahd, so you gotta be like hell ya, that’s my woman! An’ no disrespect an’ all, sweetheart, but your husband is lucky, am I right man [again, to my husband, who is smiling, but on guard]. I mean, I got a wife, so I’m okay I sweya he-yah, been married 20 years, an’ you know… but she’s like… Anyhow, I just had to ,like, come and say hey, and okay, so you guys have a good one.” Annnd, he was gone again.

So, yes- damn skippy I loved every second of that!! The reason why is simple. Vanity. Ha, semi kidding… really though, it is partly because I want for people see that ‘something special’ about us that I feel. But, I like to think that they see the love we have for each other, because that’s what is beautiful. So when a drunk person randomly approaches us and says sweet things. I fricking love it. Friendly, unfiltered drunk people rock, they speak their own kind of truth: what they feel. I know this, because it’s what I do, too. Call me (when I’m sober) emotionally repressed (won’t be the first time), it’s pretty accurate, but while I’m an emotio-phobe on the outside, there’s an warm lovey little drunkard on the inside that just loves to pop out and surprise everyone.

Moral of the story: There’s nothing wrong with being an ILYMD. That’s all. Now for the disclaimers:

*No, I’m not promoting excessive drinking. To the contrary, I’d suggest that you should only drink if you can do it cheerily (and responsibly, and blahditty blah blah., and duhhh). Do yo really need me to qualify the silly statements in a blog post?! If so, time to put your politically correct panties out of your ass and relax 🙂

** Apologies to my Boston friends (Jennifah, specifically), the only thing worse than my trying to write in Bostonian, is my trying to speak it. I realize it, forgive me.