I have a relatively short list of things I despise. Generally, I try to focus on the things I love- it’s healthier, it’s wiser, it keeps me from throat punching people. However, I’ve got to tell you- there are a few things that yank my chain hard enough to, well… blog about it. Let us start with the first, and most legitimate one:
Willfully Ignorance. Oh-ho, ho, these people really piss me off. Like high five to your face, kind of piss me off. Because the thing is, there are no excuses for that. Information, intelligence… knowledge, they are all literally at our fingertips. There’s this one guy, we’ll call him oh, I
don’t know, how about Dick (short for Richard, of course. Ahem). Everybody knows a Dick, right? He’s the guy who’s got an opinion on everything. He starts sentences with, “Well, you wanna know what I’d do?” And even though no one says, “Why yes, Dick! I’d love to know what you’d do in a situation that is entirely out of the realm of your limited understanding of [insert subject]! ” Dick goes right ahead and tells you all the ways he’d do it, whatever it is, better, faster, smarter, blah blah blah. You can’t contradict him. You can’t argue with him. And you can’t shut him up. If you do, he’ll start telling you that, This here is America! He’s got his Constitutional Right to Free Speech! People like Dick usually get stuck on a topic, like a broken record they bring every conversation back around so they can hop up on their little soapbox and preach the Word according to them. You can see Dicks all over Facebook, because just being willfully ignorant isn’t enough, they must be narcissistic conspiracy theorists as well. Facts and truth, unless bent and warped by them, are irrelevant. Big sigh, counting to ten. Yes, of course someone specific inspired that little rant. People like him are exhausting, and they are everywhere.
Moving on.
Close Talkers Just. NO. Stop doing that!!! There’s a thing, it’s called personal space. We’ve allllll heard of it. I mean, it’s a thing, God damn it. Respect the space, close talkers. Why, why are you not reading social cues? If someone is repeatedly backing up, away from you, during a conversation: YOU ARE TOO CLOSE. Yes, it is your breathe. Yes, it is the smell of your perfume/cologne. I should not be playing, ” I can guess what you just had for lunch” with you. Frankly, it doesn’t matter if you smell good or bad, I should not be smelling you this fricking close. 
Loud Eaters I know for a fact that I am not alone here, because there is a name for this supposed ‘disorder’: Misophonia. First of all, the effect that loud chewing/eating has on me is not because I suffer a from a sensory disorder. It’s because you are CHEWING TOO FRICKING LOUD. I should not hear the sound of food masticating inside your mouth. Ever. I don’t even want to hear myself chew, so why would I want to hear anyone else. How is this even a questionable topic?
Table Nose Blowers Where the HELL were you raised? Seriously. In what universe is it okay to do that? I can’t even type the words to express the revulsion I feel when I am eating (soundlessly, by the way, thank you) my Goddamn food and someone puts a tissue to their nose and blows out stuff from their insides. I can’t say this any other way: I fucking hate you, whoever you may be, in that moment. If I could throw my fork at your face, and get away with it, I swear I would. Shame on you and your ill bred ways. 
Whew! I have to stop there, I’m getting all riled up. For real, I want to fight someone right now. Listen, don’t get all, “wow someone needs to chill” on me. We all need a moment to let rip a rant here and there. I’m already deescalating and am ready to go out there and have a lovely day. Just don’t chew, talk closely, blow your nose, or be stupid around me, and no one gets hurt 😉
