Thanks Mister
This morning when I woke up, I did the same first thing that I always do: I check my phone. More specifically, I check (in this order) my texts, my...Read More
Author: Elsa Kurt
You may know Elsa Kurt for her uncanny, viral Kamala Harris impressions & conservative comedy skits, but she’s also a lifelong Patriot & longtime Police Wife. She has channeled her fierce love and passion for God, family, country, and those who serve as the creator, Executive Producer & Host of the Elsa Kurt Show with Clay Novak. Her show discusses today’s topics & news from a middle class/blue collar family & conservative perspective. She also introduced a new podcast series called: Coming Out Christian.. Her book, Welcome to the Family (Life Behind the Thin Blue Line) has been called the “must have survival guide for new LEO spouses.”
The vocal LEOW’s career began as a multi-genre author who has penned over 25 books, including twelve contemporary women’s novels. Her fiction stories explore the complex and relatable experiences of everyday life – the love & laughter, the heartbreak & sorrow, and everything in between. She finds the extraordinary in ordinary lives and puts you in the front seat of every story. Elsa has also written several children’s books, all with themes of encouragement, empowerment & uplifting messaging.
Dear 44th Birthday
Dear 44th, Aww, hey, what's up? Listen, I just wanted to welcome you, and you know, try and make you feel a little less the 'outsider' here. I get how...Read More
On Faith: An Awkward Journey To Acceptance
Woo. Awkward one.I mean, for me it is- or was, at least. Religion, particularly the Catholic kind, has always given me the distinct feeling of discomfort. Like, if someone started...Read More
Dear Sibling of a Special Needs Child
Dear Sibling of a Special Needs Child, The first thing I'd like to say to you, is simply: Hello. I want to let you know, I see you there. Fidgeting,...Read More
12 Happy Pages For Social Media Addicts
12 Happy Pages For Social Media Addicts By Modern Melly Hello fellow social media addicts! Disclaimer: This is not a support group, nor will I try to persuade you...Read More
Dear Everyone Writing A ‘Dear____’ Blog
Dear everyone and their mother that writes a blog, including me: STOP FUCKING WRITING 'DEAR (insert person type here)'. Enough already, we get it. Seriously. Dear children's costume company, stop...Read More
Thank You, From A Police Wife
Anyone that reads my stories knows I love social media, Facebook particularly, and that I start my day by reading my Facebook wall like it's the morning paper. In my...Read More
We Have Forgotten
I admit it. I hash-tagged "Never Forget" this morning, posted it on social media along with one of the many, many, heart breaking photos from September 11, 2011. Then I...Read More
Top Internet Troll & Trash Talker Tactics
Today's topic is:Internet Trolls and the Trash They Talk! We all know 'em, we all love...err, hate 'em! Ya can't live with them, and ya can't give 'em a little shove...Read More
A Moderate American Taps the Mic, Revisited
Revisiting A Moderate America Takes the Mic By Modern Melly I wrote this back in August, a spur of the moment, knee jerk reaction to current events. This morning, I...Read More
Dear Modern Moms (Message from a Dinosaur Mom)
With so many topics to choose from- Donald Trump running for President (love it. Gasp, I said it), the senseless and cowardly slaughter of Cecil the Lion (heartsick over it),...Read More
Taste of Country Music Misadventure
About Modern Melly, aka Melanie Cherniack: Melanie a a published author to nine children's books, as well as two novels, all available through her website modernmelly.com/shop. Melanie is also the...Read More
Too Many Heroes
Ahem. *Stands on soapbox, taps microphone. I couldn't help but notice, and of course partake in the numerous dialogues and debates over what constitutes a Hero. Since I haven't posted...Read More
Welcome Winds Of Change
"Welcome winds of change..." or so I keep telling myself. Repeatedly. Daily. Almost hourly. From where did this obsessiveness with this phrase come? Ah, well it started last week, as I...Read More
Ten Traits Sarcastic Women Share
[caption id="attachment_1259" align="alignnone" width="300"] Sarcasm. modernmelly.me[/caption] Chronically sarcastic women are oft misunderstood, it a basic fact. Sometimes it's a literal "you-honestly-don't-get-sarcasm, do you?" kind of thing, and other times it's the...Read More
A Simple Truth
A rainy Sunday morning and 30 minutes of scrolling my Facebook news feed was all it took to get this one going. All that's missing is my morning cup of...Read More
Happy Father’s Day
Happy Father's Day by ModernMelly Brief historical fact for those who think Father's Day is just another Hallmark created fake holiday: The first (documented) celebration of Father's Day occurred in...Read More
The Great, The Fun, The Crazy (Things I Love)
The Great, The Fun, The Crazy (Things I Love) By ModernMelly I know I'm being cliche, but the truth really is, when women get together we (at some...Read More
Your Kid’s An Asshole. (And It’s Definitely Your Fault)
Sorry, I know that's really harsh. But I really needed to get your attention, like RIGHT NOW, before it's too late. I also know that you are trying, really and truly...Read More
Boxes, Prayers & Swears (AKA Sanity Savers)
Yes. That's right: Boxes, Prayers & Swears. Where's she going with this, right? Well, it's kinda my thing, among other things, of course, for getting through life's 'stuff'. I love...Read More
Stop (SAYING) ‘Police’ Brutality
My husband and I, we live simply. We don't like ambiguity, don't tolerate intolerable behavior, we weigh our words carefully, we think before we speak. We do all of this, not with...Read More
You Think You Know Me (Because Once, You Knew Me)
You Think You Know Me (Because Once, You Knew Me) by ModernMelly A funny thing happened when I began dating my husband: I changed. At least, that's how some people...Read More
7 Ways To Get Super Powers
Really? Did you really just click to see "7 Ways To Get Super Powers"?! Yeah, I would've, too. We can't help ourselves, can we? It's these damn "List Blogs". They...Read More
If I Had A Soundtrack To My Life
As you, of course know (because you follow my blog so devoutly. Wink, wink.) I am a police loving, lipstick wearing, Steve Perry obsessed, I Love You, Man drinker, who...Read More
Willful Ignorance, Close Talkers, & More, Oh My!
I have a relatively short list of things I despise. Generally, I try to focus on the things I love- it's healthier, it's wiser, it keeps me from throat punching...Read More
Lip Service
[caption id="attachment_861" align="alignleft" width="209"] Red Lipstick[/caption] Someone. Please.... what is it about buying lipstick that makes me so ridiculously euphoric? It's right up there with shoes and purses, my one...Read More
Police Wife
I know, it seems you've been hearing quite a lot from us lately. I also know that we probably seem extreme to you, the general public, or the “quiet” wives....Read More
Well, I’ll Be Damned
Well, I''l be damned. That's what I was thinking, a few days ago, as I bobbed along in an aluminum kayak, in the middle of a crystal clear Florida spring,...Read More
Help! Just Kidding, I’d Never Ask That
When Elton John sang, "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word" he was, of course, right. It's true, I'm terrible at it and avoid having to say it as if...Read More
Diary of a Plane Ride(Since I Dont Know What Else To Do)
[caption id="attachment_810" align="alignright" width="300"] Flyin'Solo[/caption] Today, at 43 years old, I took my very first solo plane trip. I was nervous, simply put. Im not a fan of air travel,...Read More
I Love You Man (Drunk)
My husband and I went out last night for a show- Dwight Yoakam, if you care (and even if you don't). Weeknight shows are a little rough- after working all...Read More
I’m Not Talking To You, I’m Talking To Me
We all do it. Don't deny it... we all talk to ourselves. Sometimes, we're the only one who listens, am I right?! (hardy-har-har, I know). It's totally normal, healthy even,...Read More
As A Mom
[caption width="200" id="attachment_306" align="alignright"] Me and My Girls[/caption] I woke up this morning excited that my daughter and her boyfriend were coming over for breakfast. Watching my daughter as an...Read More
It’s Just My Face
*As I recall it, it was on a warm summer day in 1977, when I was first given a inkling that something was different, perhaps even wrong with me. I was but...Read More
If I Could Just Get Out Of My Own Way
Seriously. If I could just get out of my own way, I'd do just peachy. I'm meaning this in a most literal sense, but I briefly acknowledge that I also...Read More
When Is A Dream Just A Dream
I've always been a super, and I mean super, vivid dreamer. In fact, I have dreams from childhood that I can still recall with sharp detail. I also have had...Read More
Objectivity, You’re a Jerk
Objectivity, You're a Jerk By ModernMelly Objectivity is a jerk. And a curse. Seriously, it is. The day after the Grammys, which I didn't watch (but read about the highlights...Read More
Watch “About My Second Children’s Book” on YouTube
About My Second Children's Book: http://youtu.be/xZhM0bucznY
Living La Vida Saludable Video
http://youtu.be/ZyKx7bcyyDc
Life Lessons I’ve Learned By Being A Police Wife
My husband and I met over a dozen years ago, through a dating website. We both, come to find out, just wanted to try something out of our comfort zones,...Read More
Livin’ La Vida Saludable (Part 2)
[caption id="attachment_580" align="alignright" width="300"] Ah, my Lovely Little Coffee Cup[/caption] It's 9 o'clock on a Saturday (the regular crowd shuffles in... no, no just kidding. I'm in my kitchen, not a bar...Read More
Drinking and Blogging
Rule Number One: Don't Drink and Blog. I mean, that probably is a good rule, considering that your ability to filter your thoughts is as impaired as... well, as you...Read More
Watch “Hi There” on YouTube
Hi There: http://youtu.be/W2y2DEbgp44
Steve Fricking Perry
In 1981, on a hot summer day, I heard the song that would begin a one sided, life long love affair, one that has defied explanation, suffered through ridicule and failures by...Read More
10 Songs I Hate, But Know Every Word To
This morning I woke up, with no discernable reason, with the song Rainy Days and Mondays playing in in my head.Now, A) It's not Monday, it's Tuesday. B) It's not raining,...Read More
Mean Kinda Funny
Some people seem to be born with that gene that makes them just simply know how to act right, behave, be cool. They tell appropriate jokes, they laugh normal... my humor? Well, let's say that it takes...Read More