Well, I’ll Be Damned

Well, I’ll Be Damned

Well, I”l be damned. That’s what I was thinking, a few days ago, as I bobbed along in an aluminum kayak, in the middle of a crystal clear Florida spring, alone. It was beautiful, as you can see by the picture. It was a serene,lovely place, surrounded by a myriad of trees and bush, Spanish moss … Read More

Help! Just Kidding, I’d Never Ask That

Help! Just Kidding, I’d Never Ask That

When Elton John sang, “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word” he was, of course, right. It’s true, I’m terrible at it and avoid having to say it as if it were the plague. My husband, who gets more apologies from me than anyone else on the planet (still not many, though) will attest to … Read More

Diary of a Plane Ride(Since I Dont Know What Else To Do)

Diary of a Plane Ride(Since I Dont Know What Else To Do)

Today, at 43 years old, I took my very first solo plane trip. I was nervous, simply put. Im not a fan of air travel, nor am I a fan of strangers, or going away without my husband. Now, before you call the wahhhmbulance, let me say: I’m not complaining- I’m just stating the facts. … Read More

I Love You Man (Drunk)

I Love You Man (Drunk)

My husband and I went out last night for a show- Dwight Yoakam, if you care (and even if you don’t). Weeknight shows are a little rough- after working all day, and knowing you have to be up in the morning- but we still got our drink on and had a blast. I knew we … Read More

I’m Not Talking To You, I’m Talking To Me

I’m Not Talking To You, I’m Talking To Me

We all do it. Don’t deny it… we all talk to ourselves. Sometimes, we’re the only one who listens, am I right?! (hardy-har-har, I know). It’s totally normal, healthy even, to have internal dialogues as we navigate through our day. Of course, the key word there was: internal. If you’re blabbing away out loud to … Read More

As A Mom

As A Mom

I woke up this morning excited that my daughter and her boyfriend were coming over for breakfast. Watching my daughter as an adult, navigating her way through life, is something I still marvel at still, even though she’s been on her own for nearly two years now. It got me thinking about both of my … Read More

It’s Just My Face

It’s Just My Face

*As I recall it, it was on a warm summer day in 1977, when I was first given a inkling that something was different, perhaps even wrong with me. I was but a mere child, all of six years old, when a kindly looking stranger approached my mother and I smiling. He bent down, tousled my hair, … Read More

If I Could Just Get Out Of My Own Way

If I Could Just Get Out Of My Own Way

Seriously. If I could just get out of my own way, I’d do just peachy. I’m meaning this in a most literal sense, but I briefly acknowledge that I also mean it figuratively as well. But that’s another story. (For real, I’ll probably write another story about that.) Fortunately, my literal trips, stumbles, slips and … Read More

When Is A Dream Just A Dream

When Is A Dream Just A Dream

I’ve always been a super, and I mean super, vivid dreamer. In fact, I have dreams from childhood that I can still recall with sharp detail. I also have had a series of recurring dreams, begun in childhood, that I still occasionally have to this day. I used to dream The Wizard Of Oz (combination … Read More

Objectivity, You’re a Jerk

Objectivity, You’re a Jerk

Objectivity, You’re a Jerk By ModernMelly Objectivity is a jerk. And a curse. Seriously, it is. The day after the Grammys, which I didn’t watch (but read about the highlights and low-lights all over social media afterwards) I sat down to write this stompy, pouty, pissed off post about these a-hole “artists” and their social … Read More

Life Lessons I’ve Learned By Being A Police Wife

Life Lessons I’ve Learned By Being A Police Wife

My husband and I met over a dozen years ago, through a dating website. We both, come to find out, just wanted to try something out of our comfort zones, neither actually “looking for love” or a one night stand for that matter. For me, as a self professed “in a bubble” girl. I only … Read More

Livin’ La Vida Saludable (Part 2)

Livin’ La Vida Saludable (Part 2)

It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday (the regular crowd shuffles in… no, no just kidding. I’m in my kitchen, not a bar in a Billy Joel song.) and here I am, working on a post. Well, ok here I am: I frequently get asked about how I stick to my “diet” with so many temptations out there, … Read More

Drinking and Blogging

Drinking and Blogging

Rule Number One: Don’t Drink and Blog. I mean, that probably is a good rule, considering that your ability to filter your thoughts is as impaired as… well, as you are. Or, in this case, I am. Was. Even though I’m undrunk now, I’m still going to share with you the deep thoughts of an … Read More

Steve Fricking Perry

Steve Fricking Perry

In 1981, on a hot summer day, I heard the song that would begin a one sided, life long love affair, one that has defied explanation, suffered through ridicule and failures by others to understand. But I didn’t care. I was hopelessly in love. The song? That song, was this: And he was, and is, the Man: Steve … Read More

10 Songs I Hate, But Know Every Word To

10 Songs I Hate, But Know Every Word To

  This morning I woke up, with no discernable reason, with the song Rainy Days and Mondays playing in in my head. Now, A) It’s not Monday, it’s Tuesday. B) It’s not raining, it’s actually an M- F-ing blizzard, first of the season. Had I not seen the weather forecast, or looked outside, I’d know it to be true … Read More

Mean Kinda Funny

Mean Kinda Funny

Some people seem to be born with that gene that makes them just simply know how to act right, behave, be cool. They tell appropriate jokes, they laugh normal… my humor? Well, let’s say that it takes a certain kind of folk to appreciate. It all comes from the German side of the family, my mother’s side. Germans love mean humor- you know, … Read More

Dear 20-Something: An Open Apology

Dear 20-Something: An Open Apology

*Disclaimer: when I started this blog post, I was in a bitchy, pissed off, and disgusted mood. I’d been watching too much “news” with their primary focus on too many privileged college aged people making asses and nuisances of themselves “protesting” things they knew little to nothing about. My contempt, annoyance and disgust was channeled … Read More

Thoughts on National Law Enforcement Appreciation Day

Thoughts on National Law Enforcement Appreciation Day

 *Revised. This is a post from last year, however, it holds true today and always. For us- Police Families- National Law Enforcement Appreciation is an every day thing, but for many it is an unrecognized moment in time. Please be sure to remind those in your circle of influence to acknowledge our loved ones as … Read More

Ten All Time Favorite Quotes

Doesn’t it seem that there is quite literally a quote out there for every situation? Over the years, I’ve acquired so many- storing and saving them on scraps of paper, on my laptop, my iPad, and my phone for just that right moment when I could pull one up and use it at the most opportune … Read More

My Blue Family

My Blue Family

My Blue Family To my Blue Family- My husband is one of yours. He calls you his brothers and sisters. So that makes you mine as well. I claim you as I do my blood family. My pride in you is immense and my love for you is boundless. As I sat poring over the … Read More

15 Song Lyrics That Stole My Heart

15 Song Lyrics That Stole My Heart

15 Song Lyrics That Stole My Heart By ModernMelly Words. Wickedly, wonderfully powerful words. I love the way they wrap around, and cut through, and dance all about. I love that a single word, spoken just so, can cast a spell…or break one.  I love that words can fill pages and pages of a book … Read More

The Art of Being Vague

Ah, the art of being vague. It’s, you know, kind of simple but not. (See what I did there? I was being vague.) Now, you forthright, direct people may wonder; Is this a thing? And if so, why is it a thing? Well, I’ll tell you, as directly as I’m capable. Being vague has multiple … Read More

My Two Americas

My Two Americas Normally, I like to keep my posts kind of light and fluffy, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the state of our nation. I think we all have been doing that, given the current social and economic climate. Right off the top, I have to say that I have no business … Read More

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?!

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?!

Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?! By ModernMelly   Heyyy. Sigh. So. I took an unplanned, unwanted month (plus) long hiatus from, well… everything, thanks to the flu, and subsequently pneumonia. It pretty much kicked the shit out of me, to put it bluntly. Thirteen day of fever, a few doctor visits, an ER trip, and … Read More

7 Rules For Unf*cking Your Divorce (When You Have Kids.)

7 Rules For Unf*cking Your Divorce (When You Have Kids.)

7 Rules For UnF*cking Your Divorce (When You Have Kids) by ModernMelly Writing What I Know As an aspiring (paid) writer, I’ve often heard, and taken to heart, the sage advice to “write what you know.” Logical advice, isn’t it? Because it would silly beyond reason for me to sit here and attempt to write … Read More

Scattered

Yup. Scattered. That’d be the word for describing my brain activity yesterday, and so far (at 9:15am) the word of today, as well. Why? No seriously, whyyyyy ?? I’ve been trying to pin point the reason since yesterday morning, when I found myself all over the place- physically and mentally- from the moment I woke up. I had … Read More

You Named Him WHAT?!

You Named Him WHAT?!

Well, that little nugget, is me. You may have seen this picture before, in another blog, but I’m compelled to use it again because it really is me. As in, the essence of who I am. Goofy. Awkward. Tom-boyish (check that outfit!). Girly (oh, those red sandals!). A ham. The only thing I can’t claim … Read More

Simply Complicated

Last night I went to sleep thinking, ‘Tomorrow, I’m going to work on a happy/light post for the blog!” That exclamation point was overkill, I wasn’t that exuberant for God sakes. Not to say that I’m unenthusiastic about blogging, I really am. I love the fact that letters strung together to create words, which can become … Read More

Livin’ La Vida Saludable (Healthy)

Livin’ La Vida Saludable (Healthy)

…. I’d hit the point of hyper focused determination to get myself straightened out. So hyper focused that I wasn’t daunted by the prospect of changing every thing I did…

What Do you Mean, We’re Not Rich?

    Growing up I had every reason to believe we were wealthy. After all, we had a huge in-ground swimming pool, tennis courts, fully decked out playground, 20 acres of land to roam wild on, as well as huge pine trees to climb and hills to go sledding down.. it was awesome. And clearly … Read More

I’m Just Here For The Comments

I have an amazing group of friends. I simply love each one of them, and what they bring to the group. Now, having said that, I’ve got to tell you: they’re nuts. Granted, not certifiably so, and probably not any more nuts than your group of friends, but nuts nonetheless. So, I’ll give you a little background, … Read More

My 42 Year Dramedy

Let’s get right to it. I have an awkward confession to make. I don’t even know why on earth I’d want you to know how utterly…

Menopausal Mean Girls

One of the twenty seven projects I am currently (and simultaneously) working on, thank you ADD , is a storage bench in need of a seat cushion and some pretty fabric. Which means that a trip to the fabric store was in order. Now, as you may or may not know, I am somewhat new … Read More

Poor Man’s Barbie

…but I freaking love Barbie. Sure, she’s proportionally impossible. Yes, she may set an unrealistic standard for what is perceived as beautiful. But ….

He Should Know Better

He Should Know Better

Last night, while driving home from my full time job (Mary Poppins extraordinaire) my husband called with the all urgent request to not park behind him when I got home. I, of course, replied “You’re not the boss of me!” To which he laughed, to which I laughed harder (because I laugh at my own humor) and then … Read More