I admit it. I hash-tagged “Never Forget” this morning, posted it on social media along with one of the many, many, heart breaking photos from September 11, 2011. Then I immediately regretted it. But not because I don’t feel it, or think it. Not because I don’t have reverence and solemnity for all those innocent … Read More
Showing all posts in The Blog
Top Internet Troll & Trash Talker Tactics
Today’s topic is: Internet Trolls and the Trash They Talk! We all know ’em, we all love…err, hate ’em! Ya can’t live with them, and ya can’t give ’em a little shove off a big cliff, now can ya?!Aren’t they are fucking awesome? (She says with heavy sarcasm) Sigh. Right? So, since we can’t get rid … Read More
A Moderate American Taps the Mic, Revisited
Revisiting A Moderate America Takes the Mic By Modern Melly I wrote this back in August, a spur of the moment, knee jerk reaction to current events. This morning, I decided to revisit and revamp and see what, if any thing has changed. New remarks are in red. Hello, my name is Moderate American. You … Read More
Dear Modern Moms (Message from a Dinosaur Mom)
With so many topics to choose from- Donald Trump running for President (love it. Gasp, I said it), the senseless and cowardly slaughter of Cecil the Lion (heartsick over it), Planned Parenthood selling baby body parts (conflicted about it), ISIS (violently hate it), Horrible Hillary(nuff said), and so many more mind melting news stories, I’ve … Read More
Taste of Country Music Misadventure
About Modern Melly, aka Melanie Cherniack: Melanie a a published author to nine children’s books, as well as two novels, all available through her website modernmelly.com/shop. Melanie is also the founder and designer of the #goodhuman brand, selling empowering, uplifting and inspiring merchandise which benefits numerous charities. Visit igoodhuman.com for more. She is available for book … Read More
Too Many Heroes
Ahem. *Stands on soapbox, taps microphone. I couldn’t help but notice, and of course partake in the numerous dialogues and debates over what constitutes a Hero. Since I haven’t posted a vent in a while, and I know you’re just dying for one from me (wink, wink, j/k) I thought I’d add my useless opinion … Read More
Welcome Winds Of Change
“Welcome winds of change…” or so I keep telling myself. Repeatedly. Daily. Almost hourly. From where did this obsessiveness with this phrase come? Ah, well it started last week, as I absently scrolled down my Facebook wall. Meme after meme, post after post, article after article. I was in a “Facebook fog”- a phenomenon as equally … Read More
Ten Traits Sarcastic Women Share
Chronically sarcastic women are oft misunderstood, it a basic fact. Sometimes it’s a literal “you-honestly-don’t-get-sarcasm, do you?” kind of thing, and other times it’s the whole “you have to know me and know what I know in order to understand why I’m sarcastic” deal. Nonetheless, we are a misunderstood species. Unless we are talking to each … Read More
A Simple Truth
A rainy Sunday morning and 30 minutes of scrolling my Facebook news feed was all it took to get this one going. All that’s missing is my morning cup of coffee in my ‘writing cup’, but I’ll grab that after its done brewing & in between sentences. You wont even notice I’m gone. So, I’m … Read More
Happy Father’s Day
Happy Father’s Day by ModernMelly Brief historical fact for those who think Father’s Day is just another Hallmark created fake holiday: The first (documented) celebration of Father’s Day occurred in 1910, in Spokane, Washington and was held by a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd in honor of her father, a Civil War Veteran named William … Read More
The Great, The Fun, The Crazy (Things I Love)
The Great, The Fun, The Crazy (Things I Love) By ModernMelly I know I’m being cliche, but the truth really is, when women get together we (at some point) talk about beauty and fashion and all things ‘girly’. We talk about politics (gasp!) theology (really!) the meaning of life, and… where’d you get … Read More
Your Kid’s An Asshole. (And It’s Definitely Your Fault)
Sorry, I know that’s really harsh. But I really needed to get your attention, like RIGHT NOW, before it’s too late. I also know that you are trying, really and truly trying, to do everything right. You’re following all that super awesome advice from the psychologists and parenting gurus, you read all the parenting articles about … Read More
Boxes, Prayers & Swears (AKA Sanity Savers)
Yes. That’s right: Boxes, Prayers & Swears. Where’s she going with this, right? Well, it’s kinda my thing, among other things, of course, for getting through life’s ‘stuff’. I love all three, plus one that’s not up there: Drinks. I left it out so as not to offend the teetotalers. I’m nice like that, because … Read More
Stop (SAYING) ‘Police’ Brutality
“That word: Police, is worn with pride, dignity and respect by thousands of good men and women, so how dare we sully their service with such an ugly word?”
You Think You Know Me (Because Once, You Knew Me)
You Think You Know Me (Because Once, You Knew Me) by ModernMelly A funny thing happened when I began dating my husband: I changed. At least, that’s how some people in my life have put it. Instinctively, I bristle, and want to say screw you, because that’s what comes to mind first. Granted, I’d be more … Read More
7 Ways To Get Super Powers
“It’s these damn “List Blogs”. They suck us in with their snappy headlines, a definite promise of a quick read…”
If I Had A Soundtrack To My Life
As you, of course know (because you follow my blog so devoutly. Wink, wink.) I am a police loving, lipstick wearing, Steve Perry obsessed, I Love You, Man drinker, who has a penchant for imagining that I am living an ever running live TV show, of which I am obviously: The Star. As the star of … Read More
Willful Ignorance, Close Talkers, & More, Oh My!
I have a relatively short list of things I despise. Generally, I try to focus on the things I love- it’s healthier, it’s wiser, it keeps me from throat punching people. However, I’ve got to tell you- there are a few things that yank my chain hard enough to, well… blog about it. Let us start … Read More
Lip Service
Someone. Please…. what is it about buying lipstick that makes me so ridiculously euphoric? It’s right up there with shoes and purses, my one time obsession, but now? It’s all about the lipstick. What, what is it, you ask? Is it the colors? The look? Yes! Yes! But, still, it’s more than just that. I … Read More
Police Wife
“We see their heart, we know their soul. We are their safe place …We are the relief at the end of a shift where they have seen the worst that humanity has to offer.”
Well, I’ll Be Damned
Well, I”l be damned. That’s what I was thinking, a few days ago, as I bobbed along in an aluminum kayak, in the middle of a crystal clear Florida spring, alone. It was beautiful, as you can see by the picture. It was a serene,lovely place, surrounded by a myriad of trees and bush, Spanish moss … Read More
Help! Just Kidding, I’d Never Ask That
When Elton John sang, “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word” he was, of course, right. It’s true, I’m terrible at it and avoid having to say it as if it were the plague. My husband, who gets more apologies from me than anyone else on the planet (still not many, though) will attest to … Read More
Diary of a Plane Ride(Since I Dont Know What Else To Do)
Today, at 43 years old, I took my very first solo plane trip. I was nervous, simply put. Im not a fan of air travel, nor am I a fan of strangers, or going away without my husband. Now, before you call the wahhhmbulance, let me say: I’m not complaining- I’m just stating the facts. … Read More
I Love You Man (Drunk)
My husband and I went out last night for a show- Dwight Yoakam, if you care (and even if you don’t). Weeknight shows are a little rough- after working all day, and knowing you have to be up in the morning- but we still got our drink on and had a blast. I knew we … Read More
I’m Not Talking To You, I’m Talking To Me
We all do it. Don’t deny it… we all talk to ourselves. Sometimes, we’re the only one who listens, am I right?! (hardy-har-har, I know). It’s totally normal, healthy even, to have internal dialogues as we navigate through our day. Of course, the key word there was: internal. If you’re blabbing away out loud to … Read More
As A Mom
I woke up this morning excited that my daughter and her boyfriend were coming over for breakfast. Watching my daughter as an adult, navigating her way through life, is something I still marvel at still, even though she’s been on her own for nearly two years now. It got me thinking about both of my … Read More
It’s Just My Face
*As I recall it, it was on a warm summer day in 1977, when I was first given a inkling that something was different, perhaps even wrong with me. I was but a mere child, all of six years old, when a kindly looking stranger approached my mother and I smiling. He bent down, tousled my hair, … Read More
If I Could Just Get Out Of My Own Way
Seriously. If I could just get out of my own way, I’d do just peachy. I’m meaning this in a most literal sense, but I briefly acknowledge that I also mean it figuratively as well. But that’s another story. (For real, I’ll probably write another story about that.) Fortunately, my literal trips, stumbles, slips and … Read More
Objectivity, You’re a Jerk
Objectivity, You’re a Jerk By ModernMelly Objectivity is a jerk. And a curse. Seriously, it is. The day after the Grammys, which I didn’t watch (but read about the highlights and low-lights all over social media afterwards) I sat down to write this stompy, pouty, pissed off post about these a-hole “artists” and their social … Read More
Watch “About My Second Children’s Book” on YouTube
About My Second Children’s Book: http://youtu.be/xZhM0bucznY
Living La Vida Saludable Video
Life Lessons I’ve Learned By Being A Police Wife
My husband and I met over a dozen years ago, through a dating website. We both, come to find out, just wanted to try something out of our comfort zones, neither actually “looking for love” or a one night stand for that matter. For me, as a self professed “in a bubble” girl. I only … Read More
Livin’ La Vida Saludable (Part 2)
It’s 9 o’clock on a Saturday (the regular crowd shuffles in… no, no just kidding. I’m in my kitchen, not a bar in a Billy Joel song.) and here I am, working on a post. Well, ok here I am: I frequently get asked about how I stick to my “diet” with so many temptations out there, … Read More
Drinking and Blogging
Rule Number One: Don’t Drink and Blog. I mean, that probably is a good rule, considering that your ability to filter your thoughts is as impaired as… well, as you are. Or, in this case, I am. Was. Even though I’m undrunk now, I’m still going to share with you the deep thoughts of an … Read More
Watch “Hi There” on YouTube
Hi There: http://youtu.be/W2y2DEbgp44
Steve Fricking Perry
In 1981, on a hot summer day, I heard the song that would begin a one sided, life long love affair, one that has defied explanation, suffered through ridicule and failures by others to understand. But I didn’t care. I was hopelessly in love. The song? That song, was this: And he was, and is, the Man: Steve … Read More
10 Songs I Hate, But Know Every Word To
This morning I woke up, with no discernable reason, with the song Rainy Days and Mondays playing in in my head. Now, A) It’s not Monday, it’s Tuesday. B) It’s not raining, it’s actually an M- F-ing blizzard, first of the season. Had I not seen the weather forecast, or looked outside, I’d know it to be true … Read More
Mean Kinda Funny
Some people seem to be born with that gene that makes them just simply know how to act right, behave, be cool. They tell appropriate jokes, they laugh normal… my humor? Well, let’s say that it takes a certain kind of folk to appreciate. It all comes from the German side of the family, my mother’s side. Germans love mean humor- you know, … Read More
Dear 20-Something: An Open Apology
*Disclaimer: when I started this blog post, I was in a bitchy, pissed off, and disgusted mood. I’d been watching too much “news” with their primary focus on too many privileged college aged people making asses and nuisances of themselves “protesting” things they knew little to nothing about. My contempt, annoyance and disgust was channeled … Read More
Thoughts on National Law Enforcement Appreciation Day
*Revised. This is a post from last year, however, it holds true today and always. For us- Police Families- National Law Enforcement Appreciation is an every day thing, but for many it is an unrecognized moment in time. Please be sure to remind those in your circle of influence to acknowledge our loved ones as … Read More
Ten All Time Favorite Quotes
Doesn’t it seem that there is quite literally a quote out there for every situation? Over the years, I’ve acquired so many- storing and saving them on scraps of paper, on my laptop, my iPad, and my phone for just that right moment when I could pull one up and use it at the most opportune … Read More
My Blue Family
My Blue Family To my Blue Family- My husband is one of yours. He calls you his brothers and sisters. So that makes you mine as well. I claim you as I do my blood family. My pride in you is immense and my love for you is boundless. As I sat poring over the … Read More
15 Song Lyrics That Stole My Heart
15 Song Lyrics That Stole My Heart By ModernMelly Words. Wickedly, wonderfully powerful words. I love the way they wrap around, and cut through, and dance all about. I love that a single word, spoken just so, can cast a spell…or break one. I love that words can fill pages and pages of a book … Read More
The Art of Being Vague
Ah, the art of being vague. It’s, you know, kind of simple but not. (See what I did there? I was being vague.) Now, you forthright, direct people may wonder; Is this a thing? And if so, why is it a thing? Well, I’ll tell you, as directly as I’m capable. Being vague has multiple … Read More
My Two Americas
My Two Americas Normally, I like to keep my posts kind of light and fluffy, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the state of our nation. I think we all have been doing that, given the current social and economic climate. Right off the top, I have to say that I have no business … Read More
Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?!
Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever?! By ModernMelly Heyyy. Sigh. So. I took an unplanned, unwanted month (plus) long hiatus from, well… everything, thanks to the flu, and subsequently pneumonia. It pretty much kicked the shit out of me, to put it bluntly. Thirteen day of fever, a few doctor visits, an ER trip, and … Read More
7 Rules For Unf*cking Your Divorce (When You Have Kids.)
7 Rules For UnF*cking Your Divorce (When You Have Kids) by ModernMelly Writing What I Know As an aspiring (paid) writer, I’ve often heard, and taken to heart, the sage advice to “write what you know.” Logical advice, isn’t it? Because it would silly beyond reason for me to sit here and attempt to write … Read More